Wednesday, August 22, 2007

HOPE

Tammy and I have so much we wish to teach our children but in this hour I find myself learning from them. Kayla and I hugged and wept together the other day and she opened her heart to me. Amazingly, every thing she said, I was feeling. Even how she said it was how I would have chosen to say it. Today she shared a poem with me that she wrote less than two weeks ago. We were on our way to visit Josh in Orlando. The amazing part of this poem it how fitting it is for where we are two weeks later.

Hope
by Kayla Litton

What do you do
When hope seems so far away
That you think you won't last another day
When you are afraid of your own thoughts
Afraid that they will make you remember what you lost
Every minute you keep yourself occupied
Trying to avoid the times where you could not stop and cry
The times themselves were not all bad
But all you can dwell on is what you used to have
But as hard as you try
Gone is the only word that occupies your time
Try as you may, but the memories won't go away
What is the one thing that can gets you through
Hope
Hope is what makes you carry on
Hope is what will make you strong
Strong so that someday, you can realize you were wrong
Hopes that you will see her again
Hopes to be forgiven for your sin
But hope is the thing that makes you pick yourself up
And not to eventually forget the times that were hard
But hopes that those times will not scar
As hopes of focusing on the good times
Memories that make you smile when they come to mind
Memories of the good times
Times when you saw her smile
When you sat and laughed for a while
When she stroked your head ,and said I love you
The thought that you will see her someday new

I am proud of a thirteen year old girl with wisdom, wit and insight to
the human soul. I know Tammy is proud.

I am also proud of my dear wife's choice to stay home and invest in the lives of our three children. Schooling at home is not for the faint of heart. Tammy had many misgivings but conquored them all like the champion she was. She was the greatest teacher they will ever know. Tyler told me while we were selecting books for his new college courses that many of the required readings he already read. In his freshman year of high school Tammy had him read over 70 books. The typical way I left for work on most school days was to find them all sitting in the living room reading out loud some classic.

I am proud of Joshua for his leadership at this hour. I know from history that great leaders are often born in the midst of great crisis. He bears the marks of both parents but his servant heart is clearly learned and modeled by his mother.

I was not expecting God's grace to come to me in this manner. It is coming from so many places but the most rewarding is from the hearts, hands and lips of my beloved chlldren.

It is well with our souls!
Ed Litton

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pastor Ed and Kayla,
As I clicked on your blog tonight to check on your sweet family I read this post and the Lord Jesus knew exactly what I needed! Kayla, that poem was perfect for me and your sweet heart even ministers to a 31 yr old in VA tonight needing to be reminded that yes indeed HOPE is the only thing that makes us get up in the morning. My heart has never stopped thinking about your family and I find it amazing how the Lord can/is using a precious child of God to minister to another. Pastor Ed, may the sweet Lord Jesus continue to lift you up during this time, as you continue to minister to us!
Always in my prayers,

Heather Boda (Foley)

Ted said...

Ed,

It isn't the best way but it is the quickest to simply say we are deeply saddened by the news of Tammy's death. Cheryl and I have prayed for you this day and will continue to do so. God bless you and your wonderful children.

Ted Elmore

Patricia said...

It never ceases to amaze me how God uses our children to teach us the most valuable lessons in life.

Thank you for sharing Kayla's beautiful poem about hope with us. It was exactly what this 33 year old in NC needed to hear tonight as well.

God bless you Pastor Ed and thank you for continuing to minister to us during a time when we should all be ministering to you and your family.

With love and many prayers,

Patricia O'Donnell

Anonymous said...

nxofuDear Pastor Ed,

I have never met Kayla but from your blog she must be following in her Mum's sweet ways. I am praying that during this time that you and your family will be lifted up by God's word to help ease the pain and loss.
I will be praying for you and thanks for being a man led by the spirit of your wonderful saviour.
With Love

Sue Cook and Family

Michael Howell and Family said...

Pastor Ed,
Though I only new you and Tammy for a short while, I was a member of the church when you first came to North Mobile. You could see the love that you had for your beautiful wife. Now these years later, you can see the lives she has touched, none more precious than your own family. The proof of that is in this wonder poem. My heart broke for you, your family and the church family when I was told of this news. Trust in God, rest in His arms when you need to, but most of all be strong in your faith of Him and He will heal your broken heart. Remember, you will see Tammy again. You are all in my prayers at this time.

Anonymous said...

Pastor Ed,
You and your family are in my prayers daily. You all are a mirror of God's beautiful mercy, love and grace. We will all miss Tammy's precious spirit and beautiful smile but rejoice that she is heaven with our Father. Kayla's poem touched my heart deeply. May the hope that we find in the Lord help to heal all the wounds that life gives us.

With love and prayers,
Gina Herron

Anonymous said...

Pastor Ed, family & the FBNM family,

I am so sorry for your loss. I am the daughter/step daughter of Gary & Kay Lankford. While I did not know Mrs. Litton personally, I did know of her through my dad & Kay. My dad spoke highly of her as well as Pastor Ed. I am so encouraged and touched by the strength the Litton family has in their faith and the ability to keep going during a such a tough time. It is so easy to lose hope during tragic events, but you all are truly a beautiful example of christian faith. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely,
Mary Kallhoff