Tammy and I have so much we wish to teach our children but in this hour I find myself learning from them. Kayla and I hugged and wept together the other day and she opened her heart to me. Amazingly, every thing she said, I was feeling. Even how she said it was how I would have chosen to say it. Today she shared a poem with me that she wrote less than two weeks ago. We were on our way to visit Josh in Orlando. The amazing part of this poem it how fitting it is for where we are two weeks later.
by Kayla Litton
What do you do
When hope seems so far away
That you think you won't last another day
When you are afraid of your own thoughts
Afraid that they will make you remember what you lost
Every minute you keep yourself occupied
Trying to avoid the times where you could not stop and cry
The times themselves were not all bad
But all you can dwell on is what you used to have
But as hard as you try
Gone is the only word that occupies your time
Try as you may, but the memories won't go away
What is the one thing that can gets you through
Hope is what makes you carry on
Hope is what will make you strong
Strong so that someday, you can realize you were wrong
Hopes that you will see her again
Hopes to be forgiven for your sin
But hope is the thing that makes you pick yourself up
And not to eventually forget the times that were hard
But hopes that those times will not scar
As hopes of focusing on the good times
Memories that make you smile when they come to mind
Memories of the good times
Times when you saw her smile
When you sat and laughed for a while
When she stroked your head ,and said I love you
The thought that you will see her someday new
I am proud of a thirteen year old girl with wisdom, wit and insight to
the human soul. I know Tammy is proud.
I am also proud of my dear wife's choice to stay home and invest in the lives of our three children. Schooling at home is not for the faint of heart. Tammy had many misgivings but conquored them all like the champion she was. She was the greatest teacher they will ever know. Tyler told me while we were selecting books for his new college courses that many of the required readings he already read. In his freshman year of high school Tammy had him read over 70 books. The typical way I left for work on most school days was to find them all sitting in the living room reading out loud some classic.
I am proud of Joshua for his leadership at this hour. I know from history that great leaders are often born in the midst of great crisis. He bears the marks of both parents but his servant heart is clearly learned and modeled by his mother.
I was not expecting God's grace to come to me in this manner. It is coming from so many places but the most rewarding is from the hearts, hands and lips of my beloved chlldren.
It is well with our souls!